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I created this blog to write my fan fiction...I am just starting out so be patient. I will only be writing one story at a time, so I will try to update twice a week...Enjoy!
Chapter four…Apprehension and Admiration
“Alice, I am so sorry I didn’t call or text you…I just lost track of time. I needed to get out for awhile and wound up at this pub a few blocks away, had a few drinks, listened to the band…I’m really sorry.”
“Well Bella…I am not your mother ya know…its ok!! I just wanted to know you were ok….I mean you are new in town and I didn’t expect you to go out alone just yet…I figured we would do some sightseeing together”, Alice replied.
“That sounds great actually…I have some shopping to do and I would love to hang out. You’ve just been so busy with work and Jazz…I feel like I am intruding”
“Nonsense Bella! I am taking tomorrow off and we are going to do some retail damage, get our nails done, and do lunch! Girls day out! So get back here and get some sleep…t’s already 1am.” She said.
I laughed at her enthusiasm and said ok. Her flat was only a couple of blocks away so I started walking. It was dreary out but wasn’t raining yet so I hurried along. As I walked my thoughts drifted to Edward. His beautiful green eyes, the messy coppery hair I wanted to run my fingers through, the softest lips I had ever felt on a man, and the velvet of his voice…I couldn’t get my mind off him. I was definitely going to have a hard time sleeping.
By the time I got to Alice’s place she was asleep on the sofa so I quietly shut the door behind me and tip toed to my room. It was her guest bedroom, but it was so comfy and livable. I had sold most of my furniture before coming to London since I was staying with Alice. I figured I would take my time searching for my own place and furnish it brand new…no memories creeping back from my old life with Michael. This was a fresh start…110%.
I washed my face and brushed my teeth and threw on a long tee shirt…it was an old Bon Jovi concert shirt my mom had given me years ago and I loved it. I slept in it all the time. As I got into bed my thoughts drifted back to Edward…he said he had a “feeling” about me…I wondered what that meant. I knew he gave me a certain feeling when he kissed me…however soft and swift the kiss was. It felt like something shocked me. A certain energy…and it was pretty bewildering. I had never had anything like this happen before. I met Mike in school. Any other boyfriend I had was someone who my dad knew or I had met in school….not that there were many boyfriends. Only Michael and 2 others…Jake and Riley. Jake and I lasted only 6 months…he was my “first” and after that we just fizzled. Deciding we were better off as friends. He remained one of my best friends even after college and during my divorce. Riley was a great guy he just wanted more than I could give him. He wanted to get married and settle down right after high school graduation. He went to the policed academy and became a cop. He worked with my father. My dad was a Riley supporter. I just wanted to get out of Forks for awhile. Exactly my reasoning for attending UW in Seattle. Of course that is where I met Michael. We started dating middle of freshman year and got married right after graduation. We both had our bachelor’s degrees but Michael went straight to law school. I worked at a local newspaper and he worked for his father while carrying a full course load. It was a struggle the first couple of years but we made it. I sacrificed my dream of working for a publishing house so we could make ends meet. He absolutely refused financial help from his parents even though they offered to buy us a house as a wedding present. Small house…but a house nonetheless. Instead…we rented a small one bedroom apartment near campus. I didn’t mind. We had each other. Once he graduated from law school he was recruited by a local firm that was very well known…Denali and Stanley was the firm. Two very powerful and rich lawyers…the best in the city. And they wanted Mike. Within a year we had bought a 2 bedroom condo in one of the nicest buildings in the area. I had been promoted at the newspaper also. Our lives seemed great to the outside world…we had a beautiful apartment, great jobs, money to spare….but even I knew something was missing. By our sixth anniversary the in laws started asking when we were going to give them grandchildren. Mike would always change the subject saying we were too young. I had been toying with the idea of kids though…at the time I was 27 and I wanted to have at least two kids. I didn’t want to be pregnant in my late thirties or early forties either…so we had to at least approach the subject soon. Michael just kept saying he was way too busy to worry about being a dad yet. My heart sank a little with each of our “discussions” about parenthood. After my 30th birthday I stopped talking about it. Mike was up for junior partner at the firm and it was all he talked about. He kept spending more and more late nights at the office and we were starting to grow apart. It wasn’t a total surprise when I discovered another woman. I just didn’t expect it in my own home, in my own bed…with the boss’ daughter. It sure did a number on my self esteem. Jessica was small, but she had bigger boobs than me…and I know she used to be a gymnast so she was fit. She had an annoyingly bubbly personality that made me want to puke though…but men seemed to eat it up! I didn’t understand it at all. Any woman could tell she was as fake as her nose job.
I found my thoughts drifting back to Edward after contemplating how I had gotten to this point. Why me? I just didn’t understand…but closing my eyes and picturing him I could feel myself getting aroused. I relaxed into the feeling gently stroking the side of my breast ever so lightly with my finger tips…the way I imagined he would…his fingers were long and slender and probably very adept. I let my hands roam, pinching my already hardening nipples…my breath hitching at each touch…the heat radiating from my center becoming unbearable. It didn’t take too long after I slipped a finger inside my very wet folds and began circling my clit ever so slowly, for me to be panting his name. As I felt the build up I breathlessly moaned “Edward” and came harder than I had in years. I could feel my heart practically beating out of my chest as I tried to catch my breath.
Needless to say…I was exhausted by then…so I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep…dreaming of Edward Cullen.
The Lamb…Part Two
I was dumbfounded…sitting there staring at the note and reading it over and over again. Why on earth would that beautiful creature want to see me? Average and mousy Bella? Emmett must have noticed my confusion and waved a finger to me signaling he wanted to talk to me. I slowly got up, all of a sudden very aware of every move I was making…and quite lightheaded from the imbibed spirits of the last hour and a half.
“Miss Bella…I can assure you he isn’t going to hurt you. You have no need to be afraid. I think he is quite taken with you. He usually comes in, plays his set, has a couple drinks and then leaves….almost always alone. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen him with a woman”, he said.
“Well…I’ll be honest with you, I was a little frightened, but mostly I am curious as to why he would even look my way like that. I am clearly nothing spectacular and I am certainly not a groupie”, I replied.
“I’ve known him for years and one thing I know about Edward is he is not into ‘groupies’…as you called them. Also…don’t sell yourself short Miss Bella…you are a very beautiful woman”, said Emmett as he kissed my hand yet again. I bet women swoon over this guy serving them drinks. I am sure he isn’t lonely even one night of the week.
I smiled and thanked him graciously and went back to my little corner and waited for the band to come back out on stage. It was feeling a little warm so I removed my coat and hung it on my chair, leaving me in a black satin camisole top with lace edging. It showed off what little cleavage I possessed. Sipping the rest of my fourth amaretto sour, I watched as Masochist returned to the stage and got ready for their original selections. He signed the note with just an “E”….but thanks to Emmett I now knew his name was Edward…beautiful, poetically sexy Edward. He had changed into a black button down and I noticed the buttons were only fastened about up to his chest line…so even with the darkness of the club I could still see the hair on his chest peeking through. His hair was still a tousled mess of bronze. Looking closer as he tuned his guitar I could see a five o’clock shadow along his very angular jawline. For a few seconds my mind wandered to what it would be like to lick his jaw. Once I caught myself thinking this way I knew I must have blushed and I took another long sip of my alcohol. It was a good thing that I lived only a couple of blocks away. My best friend and surrogate sister, Alice, owned a flat and I had moved in with her until I figured out what I really wanted to do. I had received a very nice settlement in the divorce. Michael was not happy about it, but it gave me enough money to be able to concentrate on my writing for awhile.
“We have returned ladies and gentlemen…now, I know I promised some original selections but I feel the need to do one more cover before we get started with our own material…I hope you all enjoy a little Van Morrison…”
I knew the tune from the first couple of beats, and I knew it was for me because Edward’s gaze was going right through me as he sang…
Hey, where did we go
Days when the rains came ?
Down in the hollow
Playing a new game,
Laughing and a-running, hey, hey,
Skipping and a-jumping
In the misty morning fog with
Our, our hearts a-thumping
And you, my brown-eyed girl,
You, my brown-eyed girl.
It was one of my favorite songs. My mother loved 60’s and 70’s music and I grew up listening to all her music. She had me singing The Stones by the time I was 6. I smiled shyly as he sang his own rendition absolutely perfectly. A few of the couples that had been sitting in the bar had gotten up and started dancing. Reminded me of that Julia Roberts movie where she leaves her abusive husband by faking her death…and winds up dancing with a drama teacher from the local University to Brown Eyed Girl.
Once he finished the song and everyone stopped whistling and clapping he settled himself with an acoustic guitar and a bar stool and started strumming the most beautiful melody. It was obviously an original piece. His voice was different…deep…melodic…almost hypnotic. I found myself just staring at him as he sang. He closed his eyes and it was like he was the music itself. It was offbeat and beautiful and entrancing. Edward had true talent. And you could tell by the way he sang that he truly loved music. It came straight from his soul.
You turned your back when I tried to learn
Still I cannot lift my eyes
If your hands are turning mine
But you dared not
What you said our souls could contain
They could contain
But now I’m gone
With a broken twisted soul in mind
But for how long
Cause I’ve wasted this train of youth all on you, all on you
It’s all on you
Listening to the lyrics made me wonder if this was written from his own perspective…his own life…a love gone bad. He had that tortured artist vibe going, strumming his guitar with a roughness at the meaty parts of the song…and then returning to the gentle touch of his fingertips as the song came to a close. He was absolutely breath taking.
As he opened his eyes he skimmed the crowd and landed his gaze on me, just staring, seemingly looking for approval. I gave a shy smile and looked down at my drink. I was truly uncomfortable in his gaze. It seemed so knowing and almost reverent. But why? I couldn’t understand. By midnight the pub had lost a few patrons and I was sipping a cup of coffee. I hadn’t yet gotten into the ways of the British yet with their love of tea. I still needed my wonderful coffee. After four drinks and three shots I was in need of some sobering up. I still had to make the decision of whether or not to meet Edward in the back. Time was running out. The show had ended and the band was packing up. It had been two years since I had touched a man in any way. It had been ten years since I had dated anyone…and at the ripe old age of 32 I felt it daunting thinking about dating again. Maybe he just wanted a quick fling…I mean don’t most musicians enjoy that sort of thing? I wasn’t interested in a fling but I wasn’t sure I was interested in anything serious either. What I could use….more friends. I only had Alice and her lovely boyfriend Jasper as friends and being the odd woman out got a little depressing at times. Even if I just made a couple new friends I would feel better. Maybe go to the cinema as a group, or have dinner parties. Alice was always up for throwing a party. She lived for that shit! Suddenly I heard my phone ringing and realized I had 5 missed calls…all from Alice…not to mention about 10 text messages asking where I was and if I was ok. I felt bad I hadn’t left her a note. Just as I was about to text her to let her know I was indeed alright…a hand covered mine. A hand with long and slender fingers. The decision had been made for me…I wasn’t gong anywhere anytime soon.
“Hello…I’m Edward Cullen…”
Unsure of what I wanted but sure it included alcohol, I made my way through the doors of The Lamb. A nice local pub with a historic feel to it that was not only charming, but somewhat comforting as well. I had wanted anonymity and solitude for awhile. Time to think, to reflect on the last two years and decide where I was going from here. I knew I wanted to write. It was what I went to college for. I had many ideas floating around in the jumbled mess that was known as my brain. So, I decided to have a drink and people watch for awhile. I sat at a small table near the main bar and next to the small stage area where locals would come to play their musical creations. I could just see it in my head…people snapping their fingers in appreciation in lieu of claps. I chuckled to myself a little, smiling at the absurdity of my thoughts.
“What can I get for you miss?” asked the very handsome and very well built bartender.
“I’ll have an amaretto sour but first I would like a shot of Patron Silver please” I replied, half smiling.
He placed the salt and a small dish of limes on the counter next to me and poured a long shot of clear liquid for himself and then one for me. I looked at him and smiled and said a quiet thank you. Licking the inside of my hand and pouring salt on it I smiled again and said “Cheers” to my new favorite bartender. The liquid smoothly cleared my throat, warming me from the inside out and I could swear my skin had to have blushed. He handed me a slice of lime after downing his own shot and I sucked hard on it, savoring the flavors that combined. It was suddenly very warm and I felt a little lightheaded. I didn’t drink much. In fact, I hadn’t had anything to drink in months. So, I guess the tequila was hitting me quickly this time.
“Welcome to The Lamb…my name is Emmett and if you need anything else don’t be afraid to come ask for it” he said, his blue eyes almost twinkling they were so bright. He was very handsome and I could tell by the sleeves of his shirt he worked out..his muscles were bulging. Not in a Mr. Universe type way, but more like an MMA type instead. Nonetheless, it was nice to look at.
“Nice to meet you Emmett, my name is Bella…Bella Swan. I just moved here a few weeks ago from Washington state.” I replied with a smile. Although he was very cute he wasn’t really my type so I hoped he didn’t think I was flirting with him. He placed my amaretto sour on the bar and asked if I would like to run a tab so I gave him a credit card and thanked him. I sat back down at my little table and sipped my amaretto.
I sat there nursing that drink for a good thirty minutes. Taking stock of my life that had crumbled beneath me just two short years before. That night would be forever etched into my memory. The sensation of the wind being knocked out of me, not able to breathe. Seeing my husband on top of someone else..in our bed…hearing the noises they made and then trying to prevent myself from vomiting on the spot. I had made a wretching sound when Michael heard me and froze. I made it to the bathroom just in time and hurled an entire day’s worth of stomach contents into the toilet. It was like being in a dream and in the dream I was in some tunnel. I could hear voices very faintly. Voices saying words like “I’m sorry” or “I never wanted you to find out this way”. And then I somehow found the strength to come back to reality and turn around and smack him across the face. As I stormed from my own home I could hear another woman’s voice asking Michael if he was ok and I knew exactly who that voice belonged to….Jessica Stanley. Michael’s boss’ daughter. Stopping at the front door I turned to them, forcing myself not to cry.
“I will be here tomorrow after work to get what I need as far as clothes and necessities. You’ll be hearing from my lawyer as soon as possible Michael. I hope she was worth it.” And I walked out. My ten year marriage destroyed in ten minutes. All I could do was sit in my car and cry.
“Check..one two…check check….one two” said a voice a few feet away from me. There was a local band playing tonight called Masochist and that must be the lead singer up there doing a sound check. His voice sounded like velvet. Like smooth 100 year old single malt poured out of a pair of the softest looking lips I had ever seen. His hair was a bronze mess, like he had just woken up and run his fingers through it instead of using a brush or comb. Even in the darkness of the pub I could see that his eyes were the most beautiful shade of green…no jade. He was tall and lean with definition in all the right places. Broad shoulders and low slung black denim jeans topped with what looked like a vintage Clash tee shirt. He was a beautiful specimen. When he spoke into the mic I could feel heat between my legs. How could a man affect me so just by speaking? I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He seemed to glide across the stage, not walk. I hoped he hadn’t noticed me staring at him so blatantly. As the other members of the group settled into their respective positions I got up and asked Emmett for another drink and another shot of Patron. He obliged…again doing the shot with me, this time grabbing my hand and giving it a quick kiss afterwards. He was a charmer indeed. He noticed my interest in the band setting up immediately though.
“That is my buddy and his band up there. Nobody big and famous, just locals exercising their art. They are actually very good. That tall skinny one up front is my buddy.. You know..the one who is now staring at your backside with a smirk” said Emmett.
I was startled at that comment. I guess I must have blushed slightly because Emmett chuckled to himself and told me to turn around. I did, rather slowly and I saw his eyes fixed on me. He gave a half smile and winked at me. I swear I felt my legs go like jello. My heart beat faster and there was that heat between my legs again. What the hell was happening to me?
As soon as he did his half smile thing I mad my way back to my little corner and I knew I was turning three shades of red. It had been so long since I had even looked at another man in that way and here I was feeling a warmth between my legs at just the sight and sound of one. I didn’t even know his name. I didn’t care. If he sounded like velvet when he spoke I knew his singing voice had to be heavenly so I waited for the band to completely set up. I was anxious to hear them. I waved at Emmett for another drink..now on my third amaretto sour…I was feeling very good, a little light headed and definitely warm….everywhere. I nervously looked around the pub wondering if people thought it was strange for me to be sitting here all alone. Most everyone was coupled up and the place was almost at capacity. Suddenly I heard that voice again.
“Welcome to The Lamb everyone…we are Masochist…thanks for coming out…hope you enjoy the show.” He turned to his bandmates and counted off 1, 2, a 1, 2,3,4…launching into Patience by Guns N Roses….whistling the beginning as if he were channeling Axl Rose himself. It just happened to be my favorite GNR song. I sat there staring at his long, slender figers nimbly strum the guitar thinking what those fingers could do to me…geez…maybe I just needed to get laid!
Said woman take it slow, it’ll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow and we’ll come together fine
You and I’ve got what it takes to make it
He sounded even better singing…swaying back and forth, strumming that guitar so expertly. He was truly into the music, his eyes closed, seeming to feel every beat, every note…it was pure heaven watching him. Then he opened his eyes and they went straight to me….almost looking through me. I felt a spark ignited and suddenly I physically couldn’t move my eyes away from his gaze. He was ethereal, angelic, but at the same time…completely devious looking if that is possible. He looked like poetic sexy sin. And he was still looking at me…plain me…Bella who is divorced because her husband didn’t want her any more. Why on earth would this beautiful creature be looking at me like I was, well…something to eat. I hated to think of it that way…it just reminded me of that horrid vampire book series. But, that was exactly how he was looking at me.
“Thank you everyone, thank you”, he said over the soft clapping. “We are going to take a quick breather and then we will be back with a few original selections”
And with that he exited the small stage and walked back behind some curtains. I sat there dumbfounded and confused beyond words. I mean…I wasn’t ugly but it’s not like I was Scarlett Johannson either. I had a decent figure with breasts not too big and not too small..they say a handful is enough. I didn’t work out much except for the two or three days a week I walked in the park, so my body was soft and what I would call womanly. A man would probably say I had curves in the right places. The only thing I liked about myself were my eyes. Dark chocolate brown with lashes long enough that mascara wasn’t really needed. My hair was plain brown although my mother always said it had auburn flecks in the sunlight. Long brown hair that I had left down for once. I didn’t wear loads of makeup. Just the occasional light blush, lip gloss, and sometimes a smokey eye when the party called for it. I considered myself to be pretty much just average. Nothing special.
While contemplating my “averageness” Emmett came over with another drink and as I politely said thank you he handed me a slip of paper and smiled.
“It’s on the house…complements of my buddy on stage”
I opened the folded paper…
Dear brown eyes,
Meet me after the show…in back by the office…I hope you enjoy the amaretto sour.
Suddenly I felt very nervous and warm and just…plain…terrified…
Bella has moved across the ocean from her native Washington state to jolly old England to start a new life after divorcing. She wants to finally pursue her writing career with no distractions and absolutely NO relationships. This all changes when she meets the beautiful lead singer/guitarist of a local band at a pub one night.
~as always Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight..I am just improvising here. enjoy!